We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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