HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Im wearing black today mourning the orgasm i couldn't get this morning :(
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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