you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
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