Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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