She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
i think i have two assholes
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
Randomize
