i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
