i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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