Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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