Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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