I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
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