dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
