do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I wanna passion pit in your ass
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Randomize
