you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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