ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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