i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Still borderline I believe. As bad as this sounds, I feel God owes me one here and should not let his grandmother die till after my birthday
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
