i don't plan on having that self control this summer
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I just want to be naked all the time but not in a sexual, come-hither and look at my ass sort of way. In a slightly chubby yet not ashamed way as I eat Taco Bell and lay on soft fuzzy blankets.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Randomize
