I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
It's Friday. Sex?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
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