I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
