very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
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