Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
you went through ur friends list and posted an obscene comment on every ultrasound pic...."not his" "looks like a sea monkey"
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
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