Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
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