Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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