I accidentally had phone sex last night
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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