Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
The last thing I remember is trying to split my bridesmaid dress down the back like the incredible hulk.
and you succeeded.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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