Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
Randomize
