I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
