She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize
