it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
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