I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
