if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
