apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
