I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
