I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
Randomize
