Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I nicknamed her "Jackhammer" for the way she gave me a handjob. My balls were in constant pain
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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