I am puke
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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