Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Randomize
