If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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