he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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