i was born a porn star she said
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
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