WTF. you left me with no condoms and you ate all my mac and cheese. scumbag.
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
