I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
