Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
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she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
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There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
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