I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I'm really sorry I gave you road head last night and made you drive over and break the sprinkler system.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
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