I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
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If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
Just realized I'm marrying a man that's never gone down on me. What happened to my priorities?
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
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