I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
I kinda knew it wasnt going to pan out when he would rather watch how i met your mother ON TIVO than fuck me......
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
