That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
I'm way too hungover for life right now
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I just woke up, dressed as Chris Brown, with a bunless hot dog (presumably from 7/11) in my pocket, wearing a pair of shoes I don't recognize as my own. Help.
Randomize
