Just fell off a train. Bad.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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