So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
we are both sitting on my bed desperately refreshing the order tracking page for dominos.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
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