They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
