cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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