My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
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