He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
