Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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