He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
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marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
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I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
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