How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
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