I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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