if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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