your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
