i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
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