I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
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