How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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