I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
I think a kid would responsible me up
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
