omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
i just watched a video of two girls fucking with a banana and i thought of you.
i hate you
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
