I regularly think about how cool your nickname is
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I'm drinking bacardi out of her mom's eco-green starbucks mug and chasing it with her sister's "for track only" vitamin water. Hello suburbia
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
